Post by Edward Cullen on Apr 26, 2008 23:37:38 GMT -5
"It's what I want, it's what I need.
My very existence revolves around her now."[/i]
I'm too selfish to think about anyone else. Carlisle? The one that has raised me to be like his very own flesh and blood.
Esme? She shows unconditional love for me, who is unworthy because I can not face this problem but instead I am choosing to run.
My brothers and sisters? Who I need too much for support and encouragement. Their very appearance instantly gives me a high that is impossible to suppress.
Am I really ready to leave all that behind? All because of a stupid scent that I'm craving for more than anything I've ever craved for in my existence? Am I ready to ignore what I know is right and what is wrong? Can't there be a way for me and the insignificant human that has captured me, to both exist all at once? [/right][/color]
As Edward headed off to the airport. He deliberated about what he believed was right and what he knew was right. To him the comparison had infinite reasons as to why he knew he shouldn't back. As the light flashed past the windows of the Black Merecedes, that he had borrowed yet once again from Carlisle, he knew that at all costs he shouldn't. For everything would be at risk. Not only for himself but also for his entirely family. Because if, he couldn't control himself around the girl. This, would be the only thing he was incontrol of. On purely his own decision.
Over and over again he argued with the voices in his head. Some telling him to stay, while the others to flee as far as possible. Bella as he knew, would be better off in a world where he was not around; if that was not obvious enough. At first he thought that all his decisions would drive him insane, knowing that his decision would somehow still upset someone. But he did not want to make a rational move, so Edward continued to think of excuses to stay and to leave.
The sun was shining today, more than usual in a town like Forks. Edward was good to have brought Carlisle's car with him, originally bringing it because of the fuel consumption he'd need on his escape. He was now parked on the side of the road, while continually gathering his thoughts on his agenda.
He knew that his brothers and sisters and Esme would be wondering where he had gone, not being at school today. But as always Alice would've probably foretold the future and explained his absence.
Edward wondered what Bella's thoughts on the situation were. Although being sure he was far from it, being that he was unable to read the her thoughts.
That's when he finally decided. Thinking it through for a couple of minutes, which felt like hours to him. He made the final decision- That he would get to know Bella before, he did anything stupid to upset his family, especially Esme.
Of course, Edward was eager to get to know Bella and this was just one of the things he wished from her. Obviously, there would be the matter of his hunger from her too and so he had to extra pre-cautions.
Edward grabbed hold of the wheel and set fort to the park, ready to hunt to feed his his hunger.
